Archive

Are you a bureaucrat? You might be if ...

• Your FTE can't find the RFP on the IRP and the CRP for the EPA and the NWS or�even without the CDAs� the JIB and CENTCOM PAQ briefing shows there are 9 KIA, 6 WIA, and 2 MIA.
• An agency reorganization would negatively impact your functional capabilities to provide essential services
• You ask for comments from interested people, but never tell those who aren't interested where to send theirs.
• You use your compensatory time to study beach renourishment in a coastal management are, rather than taking a vacation at the seaside.
• When someone asks you what you do for a living, you say you "develop and implement policy."
• There are pavement deficiencies in the streets, rather than potholes.
• Your program depopulates animals with contagious diseases, rather than killing them.
• Your agency repositions, reduces duplications, focuses reductions, downsizes, right-sizes, out-source human resources, or talks about the human side of downsizing, rather than firing or laying off employees.
• You used the words programs and procedure more than 100 times each in your annual report.
• You're politically correct, but your temperamentally challenged supervisor thins you have an attitudinal impairment and an intellectual deviciency.
• Moral: Not only does relying on jargon give you a wrong image�it makes you hard to understand. Use Plain Language (www.plainlanguage.gov)

"We can lick gravity, but the paperwork is overwhelming."

-Wernher von Braun